The first sex is always exciting. There are many questions in girl’s head, feelings and etc. One of the most important questions is how to tell your partner that this is the first time? Experts from family and sex education center “Secrets” will tell you how to tell your partner that you had no sex experience before.
Should you say?
Many girls are shy about being a virgin due to some reasons. According to this it’s necessary to say: first, there is no shame to have no sexual experience and it doesn’t matter how old you are. In ideal world a woman decides by herself when she is ready to have sex and it doesn’t matter if she is 18 or 45. Second, of course it’s necessary to tell your partner that you are a virgin. The first sex must be special but not because it’s a some kind of ritual or virginity can be lost only once. The first time is always anxious and frightening and the partner who knows everything will make you calm. If a man knows that he is the first one he will try to be more accurate and attentive.
How to tell that you are virgin
When we talk about conversations with men the only advice that works: say exactly what you want to say. So if you want to tell him that you never had sex before tell it word by word. Clues, hidden senses won’t let you succeed in communication.
We got some recommendations how tell a man about your innocence.
1. Choose the right time
The situation when you are naked in a bed is not the best moment. When you talk about some spicy subjects and share your experience.
2. Don’t finish the conversation after the confession
If a man reacts adequately and doesn’t try to escape, the conversation must be continued. You can talk about your expectations from the first time and sexual desires. For example at what pose you want to have sex and which actions you expect from your partner – tenderness, attention. Also it’s better to say that you need some contraception and patience. You also can ask if the man had an experience with virgins.
3. Don’t be nervous!
Conversation about first sex can be more difficult than sex itself and it’s normal. Yes, you can be shy and nervous but it’s better to calm down. In a good case it will make man laugh or irritated, in the worst case he will be nervous too.
And the chance to get a pleasant experience is quite small if you both are nervous.
How a man can react
It’s hard to foresee his reaction, but here are some possible variants:
1. He is glad
Unfortunately we still live in a man’s world where women are percepted as a sexual object, having which can add some prestige to a man. In such world virginity is highly appreciated by males and the possibility to be the first one is like getting a trophy. Beware if the guy takes care more about your virginity than you. Maybe it’s not the best option.
2. He refuses sex
Such variant is also possible, when a man doesn’t want to be responsible for your experience, feelings and emotions during sex. It’s good for you. Such reaction can show that either his intentions are not serious (he just wants sex for one time) or he is not self-confident.
If the partner also had no sex experience before meeting you, this news can make him feel relaxed or make him feel even more nervous. Actually if you are both have no experience, it’s better to start with petting or different ways of pleasing.
This way you’ll get closer to each other and get some confidence. Don’t forget about contraception and try not to hurry, listening to each other’s feelings.
In the end we would like to say that the first sexual experience must not be traumatic and you got the right to choose where when and with whom you should have your first sex. The first sex can be pleasant and not really interesting and exciting.
Both variants are normal. Most important don’t do what you don’t want.